Regrets.

The impetus to better my life stems from regret. The regret that I was not that kid that was known for his sports skills, that I was not known for my high intelligence or that I was not known as the good looking one. Yet, I am still in a descent place. Unfortunately, most everything I have now has been a product of luck. I do not remember the last time I worked consistently for something I wanted. In due time, it was eventually placed in my lap. The feeling of satisfaction has been long forgotten to me.
What if I had tried? Where would I be now? These are questions that I don't have time for anymore. For too long have they dragged behind me, causing me to waste even more time pondering. Why do I even ponder? Much of the reason I am trying to let go of these questions is because I know the answer to them. I know where I could have been. I know what has eluded me. Everything I want now could have been achieved by now had I kept a focus.
Even so, I do not regret my experiences thus far. I would have never realized my situation had I not been through the last couple decades of my sedentary life. And of course, the years I stood idle led me to know you. No regret there.
In the last few days, I had been made aware of the consequences of some of my experiences. On one hand, the knowledge I gained was able to help an acquaintance continue to pursue a dream where he had previously been unsuccessful. On the other hand, going through my experiences caused me to neglect a friend who I might as well consider my brother.
So why do I regret? What is regret? Seems like there are always two sides to the story (if not more). Is it something I wish I could have done but only realized it after the fact? Too bad. The time has passed. What I should be asking is whether I would have learned from the incident had I done it right the first time. I might have continued living on a whim, relying on luck and would eventually realize that I have never tried to accomplish anything that meant something to me. I could have never felt satisfied. I need to live a pro-active life in order to feel satisfied. I feel that the process of goal-setting and goal-achieving is the key to my perpetual happiness.
Getting back to regrets: Regrets are the inherent lessons that have lead me to set goals. Hopefully, conquering these goals will give me the feeling of satisfaction and content. Everything happens for a reason. I believe it. With the right attitude and perspective, I trust that I will understand that reason. And with time and persuasion I hope to eventually be lead to unfold my destiny.

To my friend:
I am sorry that so many incidences and settings have caused roadblocks in our friendship. I could apologize many times but I would never feel like it was enough. You have shown me other ways to better myself. I could say that I regret, but rather, I will take it as a lesson to make sure I never fault in these ways again.

Challenge: Spend an hour everyday with a person you might hardly see again after graduation.

Hey. I am not a softie.